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The Pleasure of Eating
Using Mindfulness Meditation to Change Your Relationship to Food
Followed by a Guided Meditation
Each of us has a relationship with food. And that relationship spans a range. At one end, we can’t stop eating whether or not you’re hunger, and at the other, we deprive ourselves of food. Others manage not to get caught in that polarity, and instead, eat consciously, for pleasure.
The truth is, the deepest pleasure comes not from the food itself but from how one relates to food. So many of us eat rapidly, grasping the food with fear, as if someone was going to take it away, and in the process we don’t even tasting it. Of course the same is true of those who feel apprehensive when they sit down to eat; they’re so focused on their fear, they don’t taste the food. Either is fear-driven eating. Whether by eating too much or too little, the “right” food or the “wrong” food, this kind of eating does not produce a true sense of pleasure.
Mindful eating can help you dispel the fear and find the pleasure. By taking the time to carefully explore fear and other emotions that might accompany eating, you’re less likely to bounce from gluttony to deprivation. Deprivation triggers craving, and gluttony triggers the fear, guilt, shame and extra poundage that lead back to deprivation. Instead, try this radical approach to eating. It relies on the deep pleasure that comes with conscious eating.
Using Mindfulness to Eat Well.
There are several steps to this approach, which I have explored more fully
in Emotional Healing through Mindfulness Meditation. The book
comes with an accompanying compact disc. Here I offer you an abbreviated
version.
Radically accepting your eating style. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of accepting the fact that you have an eating style that causing trouble — be it “I need to lose ten pounds,” or “If I continue to eat all this fat, the only heart I have will give out,” or again, “I really do have to stop depriving myself of adequate food.” Many people spend years avoiding their eating problem. Instead, they forget, deny, indeed, hide their eating problem from themselves.
Recognizing the emotions that come with eating. When eating is a problem, it triggers those thoughts and body sensations we call emotions. As you eat, pay attention. Perhaps you will recognize fear or anxiety. These feelings might come with loneliness, anger, despair, or the great inhibitor, shame. .
Exploring the mind/body process. As you will see in the meditation
that follows, to know the emotions, awareness must be directed inside.
However, many of us believe that focusing on our emotions increases their
strength and our suffering. For this reason, when an emotion such as anger
arises, alarms go off internally; bodies tighten up, breathing can become
shallow. These “side effects” end up causing us even more
suffering. If instead, you welcome an emotion as another bit of information
that can help you heal, you can observe feelings in the body or in the
mind. This practice exposes the reality that emotions arise in waves,
reach their peak, and fade away — in a repetition akin to the waves
arising, peaking and breaking on the sea shore. And in-between the cresting
of the waves, there are moments of peace. Relying on this naturally restorative
pattern, mindfulness offers a way to both explore emotions and diminish
the suffering they cause.
As you eat, ask yourself: “What is my body saying about
the next bite? Is there a panicky, anxious flutter in the gut Is my stomach
feeling empty or full? Don’t try to change those body sensations.
Instead, just feel. “What is my mind saying about this
next bite? Is it blaming me? Is it derisive, even demeaning? ” Don’t
try to stop the mind. just listen.
Practicing compassion. Mindfulness eating is a form of inquiry into the self, a way of understanding the mind/body process as it unfolds. This inquiry can’t take place isolated from the compassion that is also part of the path. Compassion can be practiced purposely, with effort, by eating healthy foods and exercising. We can congratulate ourselves when, even for a moment, we sustain awareness of the fear or shame as we take the next bite. Try reading Emotional Healing through Mindfulness Meditation, and practice mindfulness meditation – either on the CD that accompanies the book or by following the instructions that follow.
Eating for Pleasure
A Meditation
In preparation, find a quiet space and create the time to meditate. If
at all possible, meditate when you’re alone, even if that is at
5:30 in the morning. Create a meal that’s healthy for you, and present
the food in an appealing way — on a plate, with a napkin and the
appropriate flatware. Then settle in and follow the directions below.
Remember, it takes time to learn this skill. If at all possible, repeat
the meditation each day during the next week.
Sit down at the table, assume as straight a back as you can with your
two feet on the floor and your head at about a 30 degree angle with the
floor. Make sure you have a timer at your site
Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and settle in. Pull on of your
finger across your face between your nose and your upper lip Do this strongly
enough so that you “feel” it after the action. Then keep your
focus on that area of your face. Set your timer for 2 minutes.
When the timer goes off, open your eyes and be aware of your food. Enjoy looking at it. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back. Note the color, the texture, how it is positioned on the plate. Is there an aroma? Enjoy.
Now using your utensils in with awareness, carefully pick up a piece of food and put it in your mouth. Close your eyes and linger over the taste...the smell...the texture of that bite. Feel the way your tongue caresses the food, how your teeth begin to break it down. Enjoy the experience of eating. See if you can find the body sensation called pleasure. Where in your body is it?
Continue eating in just this way... paying special attention to the feeling of pleasure. Note when your stomach starts to feel fill. And stop eating when that full feeling is clear. Of course the definition of “clear” is something you will have to experiment with. Tomorrow, when you repeat this meditation, don’t stop until you feel uncomfortably full. Know the difference. The day after return to stopping when you feel comfortably full.
Make it a practice to repeat this exercise everyday for a week, alternating between “too full” and “comfortably full.”
And if you like, write to me, barbara.fishman@comcast.net and we’ll take the next step.
