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The only way out is through.... |
| March, 2006 |
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It is relatively easy to feel grateful for those people who make us happy but it seems absurd to be grateful for those who make us feel angry or hurt. We tend to dislike them or their behaviors. As it turns out, these are the very people we cannot easily avoid – parents, spouses, supervisors or colleagues. Often all we want to do is get rid of the problem, and perhaps get rid of them.
Still, these people play an important role in our lives. They help us be aware that what we dislike in others may be what we dislike in ourselves. That is a step toward accepting the disowned aspects of our personalities – the parts of ourselves we don’t want to know. In doing so we become fuller, more complete human beings.
How exactly do you go about that? On the meditative path, you begin by
matter-of-factly accepting the is-ness, or the reality, of the disliked
person in your life. The fact is if one disappears, another is likely
to emerge. That doesn’t mean putting up with their negative behaviors,
but it does mean meditating on the anger and hurt you feel. It also means
opening up to what is good in the disliked person, and the human imperfection
you both share. In so doing, you have found a teacher.
